Friday, February 18, 2011

Falling and Freezing

It's so weird to me to see my 'illness' changing from day to day. One day I barely fall when I laugh, the next day I can barely stay standing. It gets worse nearly every day, which is kind of frightening as I'm sure you can imagine. Today for the first time I fell and instead of popping right back up, I was temporarily unable to move. Of course I've read about this before and I knew ahead of time that this was normal for people with cataplexy, that their muscles refuse to move for a short time after they fall. I thought I was totally cool with it, until it happened.

It's honestly kind of freaky--okay, extremely freaky--to fall and have your limbs bent at odd angles and not be able to fix it. I couldn't talk and my muscles refused to move no matter how much strength I put into it. My teachers had to help me (I was at school, great right?) and when I tried to sit up, I collapse AGAIN to the ground. So they brought me a pillow for my head and just let me relax. I have to say, I'm not really used to the muscle freezing yet, but it's happened every time since that I've fallen.

So here's to worsening symptoms! I hope it gives MTV something good to film so we can show the world what cataplexy is and why it truly isn't a laughing matter.

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