A Looooong Day...

Yesterday was a VERY long day. It started with school until 2:30, with on and off sleeping all morning. Then we had to drive to Romulus for my brother's basketball game and I slept for a bit in the car there because my cataplexy was pretty bad all day. Then it got worse; my mom and I started fighting and yelling at each other. Add stress onto tiredness, you get mid-grade cataplexy. Then I did a LOT of yelling at the game, probably had a low blood sugar, was struggling to fix the issue with the MTV's True Life thing, AND texting the guy I have a huuuuge crush on.

Stress + Tiredness = Constant mid-grade cataplexy + Excitement + Low blood sugar + MORE stress + Amusement (flirting) = BAD constant cataplexy

I mean, I could barely walk or climb stairs. It was like the night at my grandma's house when I hadn't slept at all that day and was fighting every emotion in existance. It's CRAP, I can tell you that. So after some electrolytes, protein, and sugar (Gatorade + Reece's) I felt a bit better. We ended up having dinner at a local place so Brandon could get some filming in and as soon as I hit the car, I was asleep.

Now for the WORST part. We all got home and in the house when I noticed that my cat was terrified of the penguin balloon animal a clown from the restaurant gave me. It was truly very funny and was just the impetus I needed to fall. Unfortunately I was in the dining room next to the table and cast-iron chairs, in front of the picture window, and surrounded by two china cabinets and a step down into the living room. I literally pushed away from the step and as soon as I cleared it I fell flat on my face, with my left arm cradle against my chest.

I hear a loud CRUNCHH as my chest made a noise no body should ever made and it hurt like hell. It still hurts right now, sitting at school more than 12 hours later. I have no idea what happened exactly, but this is the first time I've fallen and actually hurt myself. It's sort of scary actually, because I know my cataplexy isn't ever going to get any better, whether it's masked by medicine or not. It's all downhill from here.

Falling and Freezing

It's so weird to me to see my 'illness' changing from day to day. One day I barely fall when I laugh, the next day I can barely stay standing. It gets worse nearly every day, which is kind of frightening as I'm sure you can imagine. Today for the first time I fell and instead of popping right back up, I was temporarily unable to move. Of course I've read about this before and I knew ahead of time that this was normal for people with cataplexy, that their muscles refuse to move for a short time after they fall. I thought I was totally cool with it, until it happened.

It's honestly kind of freaky--okay, extremely freaky--to fall and have your limbs bent at odd angles and not be able to fix it. I couldn't talk and my muscles refused to move no matter how much strength I put into it. My teachers had to help me (I was at school, great right?) and when I tried to sit up, I collapse AGAIN to the ground. So they brought me a pillow for my head and just let me relax. I have to say, I'm not really used to the muscle freezing yet, but it's happened every time since that I've fallen.

So here's to worsening symptoms! I hope it gives MTV something good to film so we can show the world what cataplexy is and why it truly isn't a laughing matter.